Recycling Fraud

The dismal results a man gets from investing a load of money on his wife to better her looks through a nose job, a boob job, and liposuction.

Man, why are you so pissed off with Rodendra?
Look at the stupid cow! I invested full greenbacks on her and what did I get? A stupid hippo! Ain´t that recycling fraud?

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Overshopper

A person who buys items that will never be used or consumed.

A: "Why on earth you own ten pairs of jeans when you only use four pairs regularly?"
B: "Simply... I am an overshopper."

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Mourning at Wrong Corpse

When you get terribly sad for a breakup with someone who made you suffer badly, or wasn´t worthy in any sense.
People who go to a cemetery and, mistaking the grave, pray, cry and complain to the wrong corpse.

Stop Mourning at Wrong Corpse Jenna... the guy is a major asshole, a worth for nothing loser... you deserve much better.

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glam-nerd

A glamorous nerd.
An Apple Store´s employee.

“This right here,” said the curly-haired, 20-something Apple Store glam-nerd who sold me my latest iPhone, “is the most important purchase you will ever make in your life.”

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Rape-axe

Invented by Dr. Sonnet Ehlers from South Africa, the “anti-rape” female condom, the "Rape-axe", has jagged teeth that hooks onto a man’s penis during penetration. Once latched on to a man, the device can only be removed by a doctor.

X: "Yo... why walkin´so weird?"
Y: "Oh man... fooling around I got caught by a Rape-axe."

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Jet Fag

A faggot who talks to you, non-stop, from JFK-New York to Paris-Charles de Gaulle Airport, trashing all your best preparations to avoid jet lag.

X: "Hi Robert... how was the flight back to Paris?"

Y: "Well, couldn´t be worse... A jet fag ruined a whole week of preparations for fighting jet lag."

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Cosmo Fuck Tips

"Scientific" fuck tips from Cosmopolitan Magazine, directed to morons who confuse muscle spasms with orgasms. Such as:
Before sex, go for a run, which "will raise her dopamine levels, easing her anxieties."
Cook some asparagus, since "it's packed with zinc, a key mineral needed for maintaining erections."
Eat some chocolate — it's caffeinated and so "can jolt the sex drive."
Drink orange juice. "Vitamin C boosts your adrenaline" and "the citrus will jumpstart her arousal system." Just drink it quickly, because she's about to start moaning, and once she does, she'll never stop.

Our sexual life? Awesome!!! We follow scientific Cosmo fuck tips from Cosmopolitan Magazine. You know... sex is just dopamine, androstadienone, phenylethylamine, zinc, and vitamin C.

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