Swim the Chocolate River

Putting both hands entirely within the anus and spreading out repeatedly in the form of a breaststroke.

"I chose to swim the chocolate river and got a grapeshot of chocolate fondue."

Jaws of Life

The process of spreading the anus out horizontally with both hands, fingers spread and wrist deep.

"She got trapped in the washing machine, so I gave her the Jaws of Life."

Parting The Red Sea

Spreading of the anus by means of both hands, placed wrist deep inside and forced outwards horizontally. Synonyms include "Black Holing", "Deep Sea Diving", "Opening the Saloon", "The Jaws of Life", or "Swimming the Chocolate River".

"Call me Moses the way I'm parting the Red Sea."