flatlander

A term used to describe the suburban-Chicago folk. These over consumers have earned their nickname by flooding near by states such as Wisconsin and Michigan to exploit as vacation spots. Residents of the victimized states witness complete retardation during the months of June, July, and August when the flatlanders retreat from the tickey tack of the daily routine to their "lake house" or "cabin" usually located in northern Wisconsin or Western Michigan. A good weekend at the "lake house" for a flatlander consists of a failed fishing attempt, a boating accident, numerous trips to the nearest subway, at least 8 hours spent looking for cell phone service, a failed camping attempt, and a speeding ticket....All while managing to leave most of their trash on the beach or at the bottom of the lake. States such as Iowa and Indiana also hold a deep hatred for fagot flatlanders. Due to a lack of a sufficient public education system, and the over popularization of Suburban Chicago, neighboring public universities such as University of Iowa and Indiana University are flooded with flatlander scum. A flatlander generally lacks any sort of style, flavor, uniqueness, hobby, or anything that is not "in the now" or accepted by the mass. Many scholars believe that the Pink Floyd anthem "another brick in the wall" is a direct reference to the lack of uniqueness and purpose the flatlander offers. "All and all were just a another brick in the wall".

Jim:Hey Dale you wanna go musky fishing in Mercer this weekend?

Dale:Hell no, its July, those fuckin Flatlanders will be breaking their boats and shit...I'm sure we would have to tow atleast 4 or 5 of them into shore and wouldnt get to fish at all.

Jim:Yeah the lake will probably be full of littered trash and bull too.

Dale:Fuck those fags and their gas guzzling suburbans and escalades.

Jim: You wanna just throw in some long cut and drowned some PBR's instead.

Dale: Yes

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