steak and shake

Eating a delicious steak, and then immediately receiving a handjob of equal magnitude.

A random advertisement: "Feeling hungry AND horny? Come on into our top-rated restaurant today to receive the best steak and shake of your life! No meatgrinders here, on both counts!"

12👍 8👎

snurfing

Getting a blowjob from a member of the Blue Man Group.

Johnny Hopkins: Damn some crazy shit is happening at this party right now. Hey what's going on with Dave right now?

Sloan Kettering: Dude that guy is totally snurfing him right now!!!!!!!

21👍 12👎

The 0-60

The time it takes a man's dick to go from limp to hard.

Harold: Hey what's "The 0-60" on your dick bro? No homo.

Luther: Uhh with the average chick about 1 minute but if its with your mom its 0.8 seconds.

Harold: FML.

28👍 6👎

A Slick 20

A twenty-dollar bill

Hang on guys I'll be right down, I need to grab a slick 20 out of my room.

The Koehler Bear

A supreme being with record-breaking speed, when seen by the general public, it has been said that it brings luck. Loves to have pregame and wacky pregame prayers, great supplier of man-fives, and like his partner in crime Bmisk the Dragonslayer, wears a headband frequently. Although he loves to display his illegally good looks, he does not have a catch phrase. Above all he is a gentleman and a scholar.

Coach Mike: Hey guys, why can't u be awesome and score 8 goals like The Koehler Bear over here?

Team: Sorry coach, Bmisk the Dragonslayer is scoring all the rest!

Coach Mike: Oh quit being such fagboys

21👍 6👎

butthook

When you stick your finger up your butt and you get shit on it and then you stick that finger in your friend's mouth and pull really hard.

Aaron loves getting a nice butthook

12👍 6👎

Bmisk The Dragonslayer

A rarely seen, ferocious being who has sometimes been regarded as an urban legend. He was last seen by the public competing in a testorone-injected game known as Full Contact Spoons. His signature piece of apparel is a white Nike headband he wears while bellowing out his signature catch phrase: "Bmisk! The Dragonslayer! RAAAAARRRR!". Famous for his soccer game antics accompanied by The Koehler Bear along with tremendous speed. Rumor has it he was last seen near the Mount Pleasant area.............

Sean: Hey man were u in class when Bmisk the Dragonslayer popped into class for 2 seconds and said "Bmisk! The Dragonslayer! RAAAAR!!" ?

Guy: Na man I missed it, he is one quick bastard.

Sean: This is true!

20👍 6👎