Fuck

The only words that’s a noun, an expression, adjective and verb all at the same time. The word can also be put anywhere in between a word with two or more syllables.

You despicable fuck.

Fuck this shit.

This is fucking stupid.

I wanna fuck you in my bed tonight.

December 25

People born on this day are said to be extremely holy as Jesus Christ himself was born on this day.

However, there are some drawbacks, which include:

-Getting angry when someone makes a Jesus joke

-Being too religious

-Only getting 1 present because your birthday and Christmas Day are on the same fucking day.

-Getting angry when someone says, ‘Jesus Fucking Christ.’

-Getting angry when someone used Jesus’ name in vain

The advantages are as follows:

-Being able to bestow the holy power of God upon thyself.

-Respect.

-You shall be blessed with the holy power of Jesus Christ, the Cross, the Holy Bible and Holy Water.

Person1: Today is December 25.
Person2: Therefore I get only one present each year.

27👍 7👎

Dirty Charlie

When you and your girlfriend end up banging in the car so fucking hard that the condom breaks, getting her pregnant.

Person 1: How was your date?
Person 2: We did a Dirty Charlie.

19👍 6👎

shit

NOUN: shit

1. Crap, poop, turd, solid human or animal waste, excrement, faeces, crud, dung, defecation, excretion, fecal matter, feculence, deuce, manure, stool, or any kind of waste is commonly referred to as ‘Number Two.’

ADJECTIVE: shit, shitty

2. A word used to describe a person who is incredibly shitty or does shitty things.

3. A word used to describe an object negatively.

4. A word that is sometimes used to replace the word, ‘stuff.’

VERB: shitting

1. Can be put in sentences to emphasise them, for example: ‘Are you fucking shitting me?’

2. When a living thing releases waste from their body.

‘Shit’ can also be put at the start of specific words to turn them into an insult or negative phrase.

For example, shithead, shitface, shithole, shitfuck, etc.

‘Shit’ can also be included in phrases, like fuck the shit or fixing shit.

‘The quality of this product is literal shit.’

‘I need to take a shit.’

‘He’s shitting in the restroom.’

‘The mechanic is fixing my shit.’

October 25

Today is ‘Wowwd Wetawded Day.’ Pwease wead the fowwowing statements with a wisp and be suwe to fowwow each and evewy one of them.

-Pwonounce r’s and l’s as w’s to save breath
-Act as gae as you can

The fowwowing shaww be made iwwegaw:

a. being poow.
b. being cwosew than 9 feet, the cwoss of Jesus shouwd fit between you.

i. Considered as sexuaw hawassment and wiww be punished with castwation/femawe ciwcumcision
c. Be tawwer than 6’ foot
d. Suicide

i. Punishabwe by death by offendew’s choice of execution
e. The wetter L, unwess in officiaw usage ow in refewwing secwetawies.
f. Wistening to KPOP.
g. Women caught bweathing wiww be chawged with the cwime of THOT.

i. Wheweupon the punishment shaww be traditionaw stoning.

ii. Pewpetwators may appeaw for jaiw sentences as wong as they agwee to wisten to the gworious song of the big Despacito.
h. Fwocinaucinihiwwipiwification wiww be wendewed iwwegaw on this day because it has an excessive amount of L’s.

Administwation:

-The Big Chungus shaww be appointed Pwime Ministew fow a day.
-Miwk tea addiction is now a nationwide crisis.
-Aww citizens must now howd up a big fat middwe fingew when they disagwee to something.

Person1: Today is ‘Wowwd Wetawded Day.’

Person2: Indeed. It is October 25- ow should I say Octobew 25.

8👍 4👎

despacito

Despacito is a song created by Luis Fonsi but is now referred to as some kind of joke or meme mainly because of the song’s not-so-innocent lyrics.

Meme and joke version:
1. Despacito is commonly seen in Roblox in the form of Despacito Spider.

i. It started as a stupid trend in the popular role-playing game Robloxian Highschool.

ii. A Despacito Spider composes of a Bighead and Biggerhead fused together, wherein the Biggerhead’s face is facing the right and the Bighead’s face is facing forward. There are four pairs of spider legs on the bottom of the spider connected to the Biggerhead.
2. Alexa, play Despacito.

i. Became some kind of trend after the release of Amazon’s Echo Dot.
3. Despacito 2

i. Another joke that originated from the game Roblox when players got tired of the original Despacito and decided to set a release date for Despacito 2, which is, unbelievably, on May 12th.

History:
1. Despacito wasn’t a meme, but became a meme due to the existence of memers on Roblox.
2. Is now said to cause cancer, hearing impairment and permanent brain damage.
3. Turned into a religion, despacitism.

Person1: Alexa, play Despacito.
Alexa: Sure!

Sharting

When you feel a huge ass fart coming and let it out because you think it’s going to feel good, but then feel something sticky come out of your asshole along with it.

Dude1: Hey dude, I was sharting this morning.
Dude2: Hot damn! How’s the skid marks?