breatharian food

Food that is served at yogi cafes for skinny new age white chicks who consider Lululemon an essential gateway on the road to, like, total enlightenment and stuff. Typically consists of a half a teaspoon of fruit smoothie balanced out with 2 seeds, 3 grains and a single flake of coconut, served with a shot of some overhyped and even more overpriced superfood that’s being over harvested to destroy an entire ecosystem.

Akasha: Hey wanna meet for brunch?
Shakti: OMG totally, I’m dying for some breatharian food. How about Alchemy?
Akasha: YASS! Bring yo jade egg, sistarrr!!