Epressed

To have lack of, slow or intermitent internet connection.

This word sums up the emotional state of a person when they have to endure early 90's internet speeds, unreliability and scarcity.

E-pression is a state most common in; deep rural areas, teens in questionable internet cafes, and most adults working in tiny offices where the IT dept consists of a guy called Jeff and a trusty broom used to switch servers on and off.

Jeff: Sorry Tom the servers are down, it's gonna take an hour or so to re-boot.

Tom: Dude, I've got a presentation that needs to be emailed through now.

Jeff: Sorry dude, nothing I can do.

Tom: Can't believe I'm being epressed again, I hate this office!!!

Emaitional

(Verb) to describe an individual who expresses themselves only via electronic communications.

Individuals of this description tend not to explain their feelings to you on a face-to-face basis, they will see you and maintain composed and polite, then hours later will e-mail you with issues they have about you. When you then confront said individual about their e-mail they will act coy or defensive.

So I saw Janet this morning, and she was cool, smiled, and waved goodbye. Then I get to work and she's emailed me saying I'm this, that and the other. Why not tell me this when she saw me, that girl is too emaitional.