H3

Short for HUMMER 3. An SUV-sized vehicle designed by the good folks at General Motors which retails for between $29,500-$32,730. The newest addition to GM's HUMMER lineup, the H3 attempts to cash-in on the feeling of virility and conspicuous consumerism one gets from owning either of the two previous HUMMER models.

Genesis:
An extremely large vehicle initially designed for military use, the classic HUMMER, or H1, has traditionally carried with it an air of financial indulgence coupled with a strange sense of utilitarian sophistication that has made the ownership of an H1 quite enviable and popular.

Evolution:
The successively unveiled H2 proved slightly less popular. Basically an updated version of the H1, the H2 managed to retain the original model's girth while exhibiting rounder curves and a sleeker yet ultimately more feminine body.

Future?:
In stark contrast, the most recently released H3 fails to retain the HUMMER's iconic size, style and functionality, opting instead to focus on issues of gasoline efficiency and environmental-friendliness. Carrying a much-diminished visceral impact and priced well below the $40,000 mark, the H3 seeks to radically re-define the concept of HUMMER ownership. Designed to drive rather than thrill and priced to own rather than impress, this new breed of Jeep-SUV amalgamate may either hold the key to the HUMMER's future success in the automotive market or in fact prove elemental in the dissolution of the HUMMER brand.

Make no mistake: the H3 is fully off-road capable. It may be smaller, but true to its heritage, the H3 abounds in the indomitable spirit HUMMER made famous. It has been tested and re-tested on some of the most severe off-road challenges imaginable and triumphed. Its smaller size makes it more nimble in certain circumstances, more efficient and easier to drive in the city than any HUMMER before it. In fact, it just might be the ultimate on-/off-road vehicle on the market. Period.

-Vehicle profile for H3
General Motors Corporation, 2005

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Shitty Butt-Cum

A substance produced during anal sex when a man sodomizes either a woman or another man and the ejaculate (or cum) of the male (that of the pitcher at any rate) is released into or around the anus (or, loosely, butt) of the other party. The resulting solution is mainly composed of seminal fluid (again, cum) with trace to mass amounts of errant fecal matter (or shit); hence the term "shitty butt-cum." Disambiguated from "santorum" in that it does not additionally require the presence of anal lubricants.

"Eww! You got shitty butt-cum all over Grandma!"

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Shitty Butt Cum

Similar to Santorum but not requiring the anal lube.

Eww! You got shitty butt cum all over grandma!

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