bicycle inner tube

1. Designed to be used by young men as a sex subsitute.
2. Can also be used to inflate bicycle tyres.

I don't have a girlfriend because I'm very shy, but I have a bicycle inner tube.

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hair to grow on the palm of your hand

When an innocent young man is seriously told that masturbation will cause hair to grow on the palms of your hands, he will often immediately look at his hands thus causing raucous laughter from the others.

Did you know masturbation causes hair to grow on the palm of your hand?

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St. Patrick's Day

A day to commemorate that famous Briton who was born in Banna Venta Berniae, Cumbria, England.
Yet another Englishman who attempted to civilize the Irish.

It's wonderful to think that St. Patrick's Day is spent celebrating another famous Englishman.

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yid scum

1. A derogatory term for a Jew based upon their disagreeable characteristics (usually in business).

That yid scum cheated me out of my promised pay raise.
The boss sent money to build his local synagogue but when I asked for my promised bonus he denied ever having promised it to me....the yid scum.
Yid scum! They send cash out of the country to support Israelis killing Palestinian civilians.

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Malvinas

I've looked and looked at maps, charts and my world globe but can't find any place called Malvinas in the south Atlantic Ocean.
I can only find some British islands called the Falkland Islands.
I don't think the Malvinas exist at all.

Malvinas? Where are they?
I can't find the Malvinas. I don't think they exist.
Who invented this funny name Malvinas?

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tea leaf

Rhyming slang for a thief

Where's my pencil gone? You've got it, you tea leaf!

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mistress

Something between a mister and his mattress.

Marilyn Monroe was President Kennedy's mistress.

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