Jehova's Witness

Foolish, destructive, evil sect.

I was happily married and had two wonderful little boys.
The mother of my first wife "got religion" with the JWs and then brainwashed her daughter to become one.
As an atheist I accept other's ideas, so I went along with the idea and accepted her going to the JW meetings where she was indocrinated into their ideas. However, at the insistence of her local JWs she started to try and convince me to go and become one if them.
I said that I was happily an atheist and that the bible was written by men not God.
From then on things went from bad to worse and I was officially and publicly declared to be The Devil.

We divorced and I am now happily remarried with two lovely girls.

Jehova's Witnesses directly caused the breakup of my marriage and caused two innocent young boys to be subjected to the pain and loss which now, after 30 years still affects my oldest boy.

Jehova's Witneses are evil fools.

Yes! Open the door to the Jehova's Witnesses and tell those fools that their stupid, evil, ignorant ideas caused the breakup of my happy marriage and that I despise and hate them for it and will never forgive them.

Then tell them to fuck off and slam the door in their face.

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buttonhole

A vagina

Her skirt is so short and she wears no panties. You can almost see her buttonhole.

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left hander

The rather difficult task of masturbating with the left hand while using the right hand on a mouse to navigate porn on the Internet.
With practice you can become ambidextrous; however that in no way discriminates against ambidextrous men who are born that way.

When my mother goes to the supermarket I have a quick left hander.

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vd

Something that Bishops and Generals catch from public toilet seats.
The rest of us can catch it from fucking prostitutes.

Don't fuck her, she's probably got vd.

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drink

Something that wives keep count of when you are at a party.
For example, after a couple of hours laughing and joking with the men, your wife will sidle up to you and say in a very accusing tone of voice "That's your fourth drink, you know".

That's your fourth drink, you know.

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bean counting

What young men are apt to do in cold countries.
It usually consists of sitting and watching young girls and women as they pass, and observing their nipple areas to see if they have pursed up due to the cold, and consequently make a prominent hard bean shape under their tight fitting blouse or tee shirt.
It is a competitive sport and he who legitimately counts the most beans in an agreed time, wins.

I saw a poor girl this morning when I was bean counting with Bob; she was really cold.

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wanker's cramp

British slang:
To wank is slang for masturbating, usually understood to be carried out on a man by someone of either sex.

Wanker's cramp is laughingly used to describe any hand pain, with the understood meaning that the person with the pain often masturbates.

You say your hand hurts. You must have wanker's cramp.

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