Texticle

That facebook reading, Google+ updating, Pokemon Go playing scrotum who holds everything up, because their phone is the center of the Universe.

*While driving a car. She swerves.
Her: I just missed hitting that guy on the phone.
Me: It's okay. I got that texticle with the back door.

Mandingo

A massive stool that makes you weep like a baby while passing it, due to its length and girth.

I ate way too many eggs and cheese last night. As a result the mandingo I had this morning nearly ripped me in half.

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