sebastian

a skinny legend that looks gay on Instagram and irl. your friends will make fun of you every time they ask "so whos ur closest friend" because of how undeniably gay he looks on instagram, but as it turns out hes literally bi. aside from that, hes a great listener except for when hes high, otherwise hell tell you to stop "plastering your pussy on the sidewalk" every time you complain about the next shitty man that comes in ur life. sebastian is an absolute tennis pro but he built like a pasta noodle LOL. when he was in sixth grade, his voice made him sound like a squirrel and he found humor in hitting girls with lunchboxes. after he suffered a major breakup a few months ago, he went on a "spiritual journey" and turned into a twink. as the saying goes, men are either good at bowling or can figure out where the clitoris is first try. sebastian is good at bowling. to continue with more negative things about this man, his room is almost never clean and he thinks its funny to act like a sarcastic little bitch. on a positive note, sebastian does smell amazing, and hes a good cook. he also plays electric guitar and has good music taste. although his clitoris finding skills are ass, his head game is on point. this man will devour pussy like its his last meal. in conclusion, anyone would be lucky to have sebastian in their life, and having him in my life is a privilege. this man makes me the happiest girl in the world every time im with him, and i love him to the moon and saturn. <3

"so whos ur best friend??"
"oh his name is sebastian"
*pulls up instagram*

"OMFG HES SO GAY LMAOOOO"