lizard licker

lizard licker was coined by jim Morrison in 1971, by jim Morrison "the lizard king"! probably the greatest sexual gift a brilliant musician could give to the world. here's how ya do it. find a groupie or really awesome woman and a bandmate or a best friend and get naked... this is important! now go down on the woman together! if she closes her eyes it'll feel like a lizard is licking her and two tongues is always better than one!

neil: hey paul, you want to come over and give this girl the lizard licker?
paul: what's the lizard licker?
neil: got this wild child pretty sure she traveled through a portal at Woodstock and she told me about it.

paul: still don't know what it is?
neil: we both go down on her at the same time and it feels like she's fucking a lizard!

paul: okay but why would she want that?
neil: she said some guy named jim Morrison did it to her and then she ended up here! it's the last thing she remembers. maybe its the secret to time travel?
paul: maybe you both did too much acid!!!!
neil: well here comes the acid!

5👍 5👎

arnold palmer

when a homosexual man strikes out on a date and has to tug it himself... he has a date with arnold "palmer"!

paul: hey brad how'd your date go last night?
brad: fuckin terrible. dude smelled like old man balls and talked like nic cage!
paul: so home alone?
brad: yeah played the front 9 with arnold palmer!!

28👍 21👎