Shit Pity

The feeling of pity one has when they enter a public bathroom stall to poop while there is a person pooping in the neighboring stall, only to finish pooping before their neighbor. A type of pity born from superior digestive health.

Employee 1: "It must suck to have to sit on the toilet for 20 minutes to get any results."
Employee 2: "I'm sure they don't want your shit pity, they probably just need to eat moar fiber."