poopblock

When going to take a poop at work or in a public place, only to find that there is another person in the bathroom.

"Dude that was a quick deuce"
"Well I was all ready to take a nice crap and this dude poopblocked me"

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fauxthority

A sense of non-existent authority. Typically, an overzealous security guard that believes he/she has some sort of legal authority because he/she is a 'security guard' when in reality, security guards have 0 legal authority or law enforcement duty since they are NOT peace officers.

Security guard: "Hey what are you doing?"
Person: "Taking some photos."
Security Guard: "Do you have an ID on you?"
Person: "Are you a police officer?"
Security Guard: "No but I am a security guard."
Person: "AKA fauxthority and you have no legal authority and no reason to ask to see my ID"
Security Guard: "But I'm a security guard."
Person: "Um sorry no I'm not giving you my ID. Bye. Go beat the power pole off."