Pitchfork

Christians have the Bible.
Jews have the Torah.
Muslims have the Koran.

Hipsters who are between the ages of 20-30 and claim to live in Williamsburg (but who really still live with their mom in Queens) have Pitchfork Media.

Normal guy: Hey, let's go try that restaurant in Tribeca.
Hipster: I only want to go if it received an 8.0 or higher on Pitchfork.

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