Douche Flu

a disease that infects mostly males.
however, rare cases have been discovered among females.

males who have been infected are generally known as douchebags.
females, likewise, are known as douchebaguettes.

symptoms:
smart-ass comments at inappropriate times, lack of a significant amount of brain cells, sexual urges with people you just met, sexual urges with people you've always known, sexual urges with old people, a constant need of multiple sexual partners, a constant demand for sexual favors at inappropriate times, a need to publicly talk about recent sexual acts, a need to publicly provide evidence of recent sexual acts, and of course a blatant disregard for the feelings of the "partner-of-the-moment".
also, rare cases of herpes have indirectly resulted from this wide-spread disease.

Did you hear that Matt and Katrina hooked up on Friday? He was passing around her underwear at lunch talking about what a slut she is.

Yeah, dude's totally a victim of Douche Flu.

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allimoomoostrichragonunnycornebrasaurus

more commonly known as Pomerantz.

a mythical beast with the head of an alligator, the neck of a brontosaurus, wings and feet of an ostrich, udder of a cow, tail of a bunny, and the horn of a unicorn. the neck has the stripes of a zebra, the body has spots like a cow, and the neck has spikes protruding from its spine.
this beast is capable of breathing fire like a dragon. it also possesses a unique capability in that when a body part is cut off, it can not only regenerate that body part, but the severed part with generate an entirely new being.

The Kraken is nothing compared to the Pomerantz. There's no way a giant squid can take down an allimoomoostrichragonunnycornebrasaurus.

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