Filter hope

The mild self-delusion that your unanswered emails are actually going into the recipient's spam folder.

A: Didn't you already email her?

B: Yeah, but what if she didn't get it? I'd better call.

A: That's a filter hope, B.

submasternap

The act of falling asleep while masturbating.

I was going to rub one out, but I was submasternapping before I even finished.

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