Random
Source Code
Random
Sex manifested into gun form
"Being shot by a Desert Eagle is like being kicked by Chuck Norris"
"rofl i only need ma desert eagle to 0wn u n00bz on css! :p"
26π 14π
n. A sport that involves either one on one matches or tag-teaming for a 2 on 2 match. Requires massive amounts of eye-hand coordination and stamina because unless you're playing doubles, you are on your own running around a court for several hours after balls that fly as a fast as a paintball. Tennis is considered a "gentleman's" sport, so gloating, taunting or showing signs of frustration is often looked down upon. To add to the "gentleman" aspect of the game, spectators are to keep quiet and watch respectfully at all times, though brief clapping is acceptable. Basically, next to golf, tennis is the quietest sport in the world.
"Dude, I went to watch my friend play this tennis match the other day, but I wasn't even allowed to cheer or yell! It was pretty boring... but those tennis chicks are really hot."
78π 22π
n. A warrior originating from feudal Japan who specializes in the art of stealth, assassination, sabotage, and molesting people without them even noticing. Ninjas are around anymore, but the term can still be used to describe one who is very sneaky, clever, sly or just a bad ass in general.
Here are a few requirements a Ninja would have had to live up to when they were active:
1. Ninjas must be able to make themselves unnoticeable in a empty room painted top to bottom in white.
2. Ninjas must be able to remain submerged in water for up to 7 hours minimum.
3. Ninjas must be able to survive a one-on-one fight against Chuck Norris for 6 WHOLE seconds.
4. Ninjas must be able to hold in a fart for 3 months
5. Ninjas must have an 11 inch penis MINIMUM. THIS WAS MANDATORY
6. Ninjas must be able to stop their own pulse for up to a week.
7. Ninjas can read a person's mind and memories just by staring at them
8. If a Ninja is captured, they must find a way to kill themselves.
9. Ninjas are expected to be able to get a 100% on every song on Expert mode in Guitar Hero 3. Failure will result in immediate execution.
10. A Ninja must have watched and memorized Nigahiga's "How to be Ninja" video
Person #1: "Would you rather be a Ninja or a Samurai?"
Person #2: "Yes"
21π 10π
n. People who get paid to feel you up and stick needle into your exposed flesh for a living. Though it sounds like a good deal, to be one, you have to waste about 8 years of your life in college plus god-knows how many more years in med school. Being a doctor takes a massive toll on your mental health- They are tasked with having to tell people when they have an incurable disease, tell people that they can't have babies, and don't forget the occasional Colonoscopy!
Child: "Wow! Doctors are so cool! I want to be doctor when I grow up, too!"
Mother: "ROFLMFAO!!!"
88π 55π
1) A popular anime about ninjas and exploiting children into killing one another. It is extremely popular all around the world and is a prime target of rule 34. If the animes Inuyasha and Dragonball Z were to spawn a baby together, the child would be Naruto.
2) The title character of the anime "Naruto". Naruto is an A.D.H.D. symptomatic ninja who has blond hair for some reason and, like most children his age, likes to read hentai comic books. He REALLY wants to be the Hokage (Ninja Village Leader) but because he has A.D.H.D., no one ever takes him seriously. He also has a demon fox sealed inside his belly button.
"Naruto is pretty cool, the only problem is that cartoon network gayed it up and had Naruto voiced by a girl. Also, blood is apparently very bad in America."
25π 11π
The most badass superhero created by DC comics to date. This guy dresses up as a bat, which he had a phobia of. That's just how hardcore he is! And the only thing bigger than Batman's absurdly large brain are his silver plated balls. His archenemy is a clown.
Unlike most superheroes, Batman doesn't have a super powers! Not that he needs any when most of the criminals he faces refuse to wield firearms. Batman lives in the god forsaken city of Gotham where freaks crawl out of the sewers every other day to destroy a building or 2. And even though Batman always saves the day, those stupid ass policemen just let the villians go after about a week to start the whole process over again just for kicks!
He also has a pimp ass butler and a gang of little bitches to help him out if, for what ever reason, his massive balls cant get the job done.
"Batman is the more kid-friendly version of Chuck Norris if he became a super hero."
453π 61π
The original simulated cockfight. Revolves around capturing cute little animals for the purpose of pitting them against one another in vicious battles, the winner of which gets prize money.
KID: "Hey mom! I was playing Pokemon when I had my red rooster kill a cute yellow rat and after the battle I got prize money!"
MOM: "..."
3π 12π