the spider is on the bookshelf

simply means "everything is alright, relax"

was invented by a crazy ass maniac 200 years ago when he tried to send an email to his granny, asking for 10 apples.

Dude: Whoa, holy shite, I hope my gf doesn't find out that i screwed her mom last night, fuck...

Other dude: Man don't worry, the spider is on the bookshelf.

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Sarah Jessica Parker

a horse

Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse - scientific fact

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dictatoring

to dictate a country;

not to be confused with "dicktatoring", which means something entirely different.

Kim Il-sung is dictatoring North Korea;

Hitler dictatored Germany;

History teaches us that sooner or later, every dictatored society falls;

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doenst

An (intentional) misspelling of "doesn't", used to intensify your statement. Usually shows that you strongly disagree (or that you're a retard who can't spell properly).

*Guy One keys teacher's car*
Guy Two: Stop that, I know he's an asshat, but that doenst make it right!

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