Le Vert

A Le Vert is a soft spoken male who sleepstrips.

They will show little emotion, however a Le Vert is at his most outragous when in a foreign country where he will without shame or remorse expose himself to a large audience of strangers whilst asleep.

Le Vert's are usually adverse to violence. The only time a Le Vert will become violent is if you say the word 'Roy' to him for no apparent reason. After a bout of sparing violence, he will only be calmed if you present him with a friendship stone.

Once a Le Vert has ingested more than 4 units of alcohol, he will refuse to use a key to open a door. He will stand at the door shouting "BELL" repeatedly until entry to said establishment is gained.

"Oh my word, look at that guy getting naked. He must be a Le Vert, doesn't he realise there are children around"

"I had a fight with Le Vert, I got angry and called him Roy. I best get a friendship stone"

116👍 17👎

Shamblor

A person that makes a room untidy on purpose with the specific intent of annoying the main users of said room.

"My room looks like it's been hit by a shamblor"

"Michael is a right shamblor. I ate the last of the pizza and I come back to find my socks stuck in the ceiling fan"

"I had a row with the ex and I come back to find that she's shamblored me"

127👍 26👎

Shavo

A Shavo is ginger haired, Irish and Scottish hybrid.

Shavo's will typically refuse to go to bed before 9am and will usually wake others in their local vicinity by bellowing on their bagpipes.

A Shavo is usually happiest when out clubbing, preferably at a large warehouse style club. Their preference in music is normally rave, hence a Shavo sometimes being referred to as 'Ravo' (pronounced ray-vo).

A true Shavo will consume ten times the recommended daily allowance of alcohol and usually proclaim that "(they) like a beer" to seemingly justify their actions.

A Shavo is normally well mannered however they take their hair colour very personally and are proud of their gingerness. If challenged about their hair colour they will happily show off their pubic hair to prove that they are a true carrot top.

Shavo's at times have been falsely identified as 'Picto's' as they are spelt with the same keys on a mobile/cell phone keypad.

"Look at that mong over their, he's such a Shavo"

"It was 4am and I was trying to get to sleep, then that bloomin' Shavo blasted out my eardrums with the bagpipes. I got so angry I left the house and went to help his mother wash the car"

"No don't be silly he prefers beer to women, he's Shavo"

117👍 28👎

Drive by mooning

A mooning assault on innocent pedestrians or drivers. An assault occurs when the passengers bare their bottoms out of a car window whilst slapping their bare cheeks making loud noises. The driver will normally honk his horn to gain the victims’ attention.

There are a few types of drive by moonings. A regular drive by mooning will be a prearranged assault on a selected location. Mooning hotspots are places where large amounts of people congregate for maximum eyeful of bum.

Another type is the spontaneous mooning. This occurs on people out walking. The driver will slow to allow the mooners to disrobe as they rush to bare their bottoms before the target is reached.

Another form is the double bum offensive. This is when there is more than 1 passenger in the car. 2 people allows for both sides of the car to be covered allowing for mooning on the port or starboard sides.

If 1 passenger is in the shotgun position (front passenger seat) it allows targets to be greeted by 2 sets of shit cannons (bums) if the target is on the correct side of the car. 1 bottom from the front and 1 from the back. When 2 bottoms are bared, this is referred to as a 'Full Moon'.

There are occasions especially on a spontaneous moon that the mooners will not be able to get their pants down in time for a full-on 100% moon. If the mooners are unable to open the window in time or fully expose their bottoms, this is known as a 'Half Moon'. A half moon is regarded as a FAIL in the mooning community.

"I was happily drinking outside the pub when I heard a car honking. I turned around to find that I had been drive by mooned"

"I was eating my hotdog quite contently until I looked up and saw a car. Low and behold, I was the victim of a full moon. The full moon reminds me of cheese so I went an gorged myself on some full blown cheddar and now I'm the size of a garden shed. That full moon made me obsese!"

"It's unbelievable. I got an eyeful of some chaps shit cannon as I was walking my dog. It's the first drive by mooning I've ever been a victim of. It made me so mad that I choked my dog half to death."

105👍 8👎

Jowitt

Jowitt is a slang term for an extremely wealthy young male.

A Jowitt will usually live in gated premises and have butlers/servants with cliche names normalled named after foodstuffs or herbs.

It is rumoured that many Jowitts have their own vault of gold normally located underneath the west wing of one of their mansion towers. They are likely to remark that they swim in said gold vault for fun whilst clad in speedo swimming shorts.

A Jowitt will flout his wealth whenever possible. A common trait well known amongst Jowitts demonstrating this is when a Jowitt has purchased a new car. The Jowitt will casually mention their purchase and then follow up the conversation with several photographs of the car included it's dustcaps and diamond gearstick. A Jowitt will normally want to bling their car up and have a spare sheet for seedy activity they are likely to undertake in the vehicle. Despite showing the car off, they will never offer you a lift in the car.

If you make fun of a Jowitt even once, they will claim that they are always the 'butt of the joke' (abbrieviated to BOTJ) despite the fact they had just set you on fire and covered your gran is peanut butter for "jokes". If you gain revenge by playing the same prank on a Jowitt, they will claim that you are leeching off of their success even if you drew out the blueprints first.

The term Jowitt can be shortened to Jow but on occasion they have be known to be be referred to as as Jow-Jows or even Jow Jow Binks (leading to the abbreviation JJB)

"I'm not hanging around with that Jowitt, he tried recruiting me for his diamond mine"

"That chap is such a Jowitt. Firstly he sent his butler to in his Roller to spit on me and then he got upset when I called him a Commander. He gave me the BOTJ speech again! What a... McNugget"

107👍 14👎

Termination

Termination is the practice of making phone calls to people anonymously and then proceeding to only use sounds, music and quotes from the first three 'Terminator' movies during said phone calls.

The most frequent type of termination is done with the main Terminator theme opening the call then followed by classic Terminator quotes such as "RELAX", "I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle", "Uzi 9 millimetre" and "I'll be back" with the theme playing in the background.

Prime candidates for said phone calls are those that share their names with the main cast of the Terminator films

"I haven't spoke to him in a while, I think he deserves a termination"

"I got woke up last night by my phone, at first I thought it was my mother but it turned out I'd be terminated"

"If I find that terminator, i'll turn his bowels into a garden ornament"

132👍 28👎

Whalefro

A Whalefro is a young white male that believes he is of another ethnic group. They often have hair that resembles ‘Guile’ from the Street Fighter computer games or that of a Lego man. They find themselves attractive and can often be found moisturizing and adoring their naked form in the mirror. You can interrupt this preparation, you will be forced to look away or get an eyeful of wang should you try and interrupt and preening Whalefro.

The most common trait of a Whalefro is to belittle others of the same ethnicity. A Whalefro will typically do this by making outrageous statements and using racial slurs not intended for the race of people they are insulting. Whalefro’s are known to be very fond of large women that come from a different racial background than their own.

A Whalefro has several mating calls. The most overused of these is the kissing of teeth. If a Whalefro wishes to make a particularly strong ‘shout out’ for a mate, they will kiss their teeth whilst using both arms and hands in grandiose fashion to point at said victim. Once a Whalefro senses victory is the sexual stakes, they will become smug and then stupidly begin to speak thus scuppering any chances they had of success. The phrase that normally signals failure usually begins “Yo girl”.

A Whalefro enjoys alcohol but are known to suffer with terrible hangovers. A Whalefro cannot typically ingest more than 2 Shandy Bass drinks without vomiting violently the next day. When jettisoning booze, a Whalefro will often sound like a gobbling Turkey earning them a further nickname, normally along the lines of ‘Reverse Paxo’.

A Whalefro likes to unwind with video games. A favourite of most Whalefro’s is the Mario Kart series. When playing a game from the series, they will whine incessantly about playing the rainbow road course, this is because Whalefro’s believe they are of colour. Whilst they are sombre in their natural state, a Whalefro is very apt to become angry at any individual who defeats them at their favourite game especially if they are part of the same bloodline. A Whalefro is normally an anomaly in their bloodline, they are typically unlike their siblings. Their love of computer games extends to playing pub games. It is very typical to visit pubs and bars in the UK and find the name ‘Whalefro’ on the high score board. Word Soup is normally the most common game to find a high score by a Whalefro.

Whalefro’s are commonly not very good sleepers. To help them get to sleep they will listen to whale song and various sounds of the ocean to help them drift away into the land of nod. Whalefro’s are known to like gentle guitar music playing over their whale song along with seagull squaks, waves on the ocean shore as well as sea captain and pirate utterances. Their love of all things in the water extends to their homes where they will keep many fish. Every single Whalefro known to man will have at some point had a fish called “Bitey”.

A whalefro enjoys sport and has been known to try his hand at golf or football (normally while wearing shorts so tight that you can see their protruding anal gland) . His excitement levels can increase dramatically, especially when claiming for a foul from the referee. His scream for HANDBALL can only be heard by canines. They are also known lovers of pornographic imagery. Normally hidden away underneath their hammock or sleeping dock, pornographic material is normally found alongside toilet roll and a feather duster (reasons unknown).

“That guy is such a Whalefro, I was in the kebab shop and he started calling me a snowball”

“I thought I’d done brilliantly on the IT box but lo and behold, a Whalefro had gotten there before me with the word ‘testicles’. Drats!”

“Old Whalefro crashed and burned with that fat chick. He was doing okay then he busted out the ‘Yo Girl’ and teeth kiss. He should go back to playing the Wii and eating his Munch Bunch yoghurts”

102👍 12👎