The Brown Market

Like the Black Market, only all the illegal items you will ever need come from your fellow inmate's asshole. Hence, brown.

Guard Falzone: Listen, just tell us where you got the melon baller.

Prisoner: (sigh) Jerry's asshole.

Guard Falzone: You mean...?

Prisoner: Yup, The Brown Market.

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Butt Grape

A veiny hemmorhoid that has swelled to infection, and looks like a hanging grape on a deciduous and woody vine.

Frank: Hey Steve, we saved you a seat, sit down.

Steve: I would Frank, but I'm afraid I'd bust my Butt Grape.

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Doody Stew

Another way of saying "the runs" or diarrhea.

Phil: Hey Pete, how was McDonald's?
Pete: It was okay, except for pot of doody stew I made afterwards.
Phil: Ew.

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Vagisland

Any place that is similar to a paradise like island, that has mass quantities of women(who have vaginas!). Generally these women are liberal about what you can do to their vaginas. Note: Place does not have to be an actual island.

Rick: Are you sure about this place?

Dan: Of course, St. Louis is a total Vagisland. I just hope your brought your penis and balls.

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The Forrest Whitaker

A sexual act in which you poo on your girlfriend's face, and rub it in with you penis until she resembles a Black Face actor. Then you shoot at point blank range a dick rocket into her left eye, making her squint - and then you put a gun to her head and yell, "Say you're Forrest Whitaker! And it better sound exactly like him or so help me God I'll fucking blow your doody stained head right off!!!"

Frank: How did everything go with Angela last night?

Dan: It was going pretty awful until I gave her The Forrest Whitaker.

Frank: Oh man, Score! Was it spot on?

Dave: No, and that's why I had to kill her.

Frank: Well, there's always tomorrow. Cheer up.

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Sad Nauseum

When the media (mainly television) will report non-stop about "sad" events such as Darfur, AIDS, people dying of the Swine Flu, a teenager's dying last wish fulfilled, philantropy of billionaires, athletes visiting cancer wards and later playing that night through the anguish, Brett Favre's Monday Night Football game after his father died, people losing their homes and Jimmy Carter's response to it, "Where's Caylee," a man or woman who used to make six figures working at Fridays, 9/11 (and anything 9/11 related) and other lugubrious moments that are recycled for the purpose of jerking our tears and jolting the ratings of the networks.

KELLY: Did you see Nancy Grace last night? A baby was raped, a couple lost their home, Bill Gates donated 1 billion to Darfu, another baby was raped, Derek Jeter gave a random baseball to an 8-year old with an inoperable brain tumor, 9/11, 9/11, economy hurt people, baby raped again.

KEVIN: Yes, it's called Sad Nauseum.

KELLY: Is that kind of like when a baby is raped?

KEVIN: No. No it isn't.

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Shopportunistic

Capitalizing on unique shopping prospects, which goes hand in hand with finding premium parking (if there's no valet services) for optimum effect.

Mr. Jenkins: It says here on your resume that you're quite shopportunistic? I don't understand.

David: Just the other day I bought seasons 2 and 3 of Walker: Texas Ranger and because of my bangin' parking spot I avoided the horrendous downpour, which also meant I didn't have to change when I got home so I could watch my DVDs right away.

Mr. Jenkins: Hmm, we'd really rather have someone with with more skills in quantum mechanics...but that was pretty shopportunistic. You're hired.

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