audio bitch slapper

annoying caller tunes which discourage random callers from leaving voice messages that eat up valuable time, or cellular minutes, retrieving them.

Caller: Uh! I hung up bc your caller tune is so long and annoying!

Reply: I know, its my audio bitch slapper so i can cut down on time spent retrieving voicemail, now only determined callers leave messages. I wish people whould just text their messages!

1👍 2👎

MoHo

Co-workers or friends who spend 50% of their work or social time taking calls from, or sext messaging
boyfriends, girlfriends, hook ups, or various others they are flirting with.

Also may be co-workers who take excessive cell phone calls from family members.

1. Have you noticed how many people have turned into MoHo's at work, they are sexting bf's constantly?

2. He is such a MoHo playa scamzord sext messaging multiple women trying to get some textual booty.

2👍 18👎

wine dine & 209

when someone you are dating turns into a stalker and you file a 209a restraining order

1.Gf: "he's a stalker, his last gf had to wine dine & 209 him"

2.Guy: "hey, wine'em, dine'em and 209'em!"

12👍 10👎

scamnesia

1. diagnosis Dx for political high ups when they reply to Congressional hearings or a Federal Grand Jury with the defense "I don't recall."

Variations: "I don't remember."
"I don't know."
"I don't recollect."

2. Dx for cheating significant others, or persons involved in possible criminal conduct or nefarious activities in a workplace.

1. Scooter Libby's scamnesia defense in 2004 Congressional hearings re: the outing of CIA operative Valerie Plame, whose former diplomatic corp husband was a vocal war critic.

Invented by President Ronald Reagan, who caught a serious case of scamnesia(later dx'd as alzheimers) during the Iran-Contra hearings in 1987
"The simple truth is, 'I don't remember - period'" - President Reagan writing to the Tower Commission to set the record straight about whether he authorized the arms shipment (to Iran)in advance.

coffee postal

extremely energetic or snarky person all hopped up on caffeine. may be annoying. may be slightly crazy. may be pitching a fit, or working fast and furious. may be the next new legal defense, following the "Twinky defense."

1. Slow down on the espresso shots before you start getting all coffee postal !

2. Are you ADD or coffee postal?

2👍 2👎

chickberry

blackberry with keyboard keys too tiny for guys larger fingers to realistically use.

Guy: "i can't type anything on my new blackberry"
Chick: "of course you can't txt on your Pearl,look at the keyboard, the keys are so small, they're made for a girl, its a chickberry"

3👍 1👎

textcation

turning your cellular device off, or refraining from charging your battery in order to take a break from text overload

1. i'm enjoying my textcation @crackberry rehab

2. the Times ran an article regarding Obama's upcoming textcation when he will have to turn over his crackberry for secure purposes.

3. Gf: he thinks i'm constantly available to text back

GF2: you need to turn that crack off and take a textcation