ThinkPad

The complete opposite of an Apple MacBook. Thicker than a TV, heavier than the entire planet, and more powerful and secure than a frikin MacBook

Tom: Look at my brand new MacBook!
James: WTF! Does it run Crysis?
Tom: No it doesn't but it's faster than your "ThiccPad"
(They run a benchmark)
James: My ThinkPad scored 45,398 in PassMark's PerformanceTest!
Tom: My MacBook only scored 25,503 on the same test! How come?
James: ThinkPads are more performant than cheap MacBooks!