Squip

Stands for Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor.
The SQUIP is from Japan. It comes in the form of a gray oblong pill, quantum nanotechnology CPU. The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until it implants in your brain and it tells you what to do. It's preprogrammed, it's amazing, and it speaks to you directly. You behave as it's appraising. It helps you act correctly. It helps you to be cool.

NOTE: To activate the SQUIP, you MUST drink it with Mountain Dew. If you wish to deactivate it, drink Mountain Dew Red.

Jeremy: So it's like... Drugs?
Rich: It's better than drugs, Jeremy.

Jeremy: I've just never heard of it before
Rich: That's the point, it's some top secret- can't even look it up on the internet- shit.

The SQUIP: