Houma

1. A small city / large town in Louisiana with a ton of Walgreens and banks, but a small amount of hospitals and residential areas.

2. A place where the west side dominates so widely over the east that the east side may as well not exist.

3. A place where, when you drive through, you feel like you've accidentally walked in to a time machine, taking you twenty years backward.

4. A place where wannabe gangs think their graffiti looks good, as though they've never seen New Orleans.

5. A place where lawyers coexist with unemployed people who live in boxes.

6. A place where pants really are on the ground.

7. A place where, no matter what, you must be at church. Catholic church.

1. Gravity must be really strong here in Houma; it's pulling all those guys pants down. Yeah, it's no wonder the girls' clothes are so tight they don't move.

2. Which Walgreens do you want to go to? The one on the right or the left of my face?

3. Oh, you live on the EAST side... I'll be on my way now.

4. You weren't at church... You must be satanist.

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