so it goes

an expression showing regret used in two different occasions: Either when simple plans do not work out, or when the universe cosmically fucks you over. Vonnegut stole it from some french author, and popularized it in Slaughterhouse Five.

1.
"did you meet up with those kids?"
"No, they went home."
"ah, so it goes"

2.
"So you avoided hitting a deer while driving only to run into a tree?"
"Yes."
"So it goes."

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pornphones

headphones on your desk that you use primarily for watching porn even though you claim that they're there for listening to music.

A: Why do you have headphones by your home computer?
B: sometimes I like listening to music while I work.
A: Yeah, but you have speakers and you live alone. Seems to me like they're your pornphones.
B: I don't watch porn.
A: Bullshit, and your pornphones are exhibit A.

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Mission Accomplished

a phrase used equivalently with FAIL. Used by President George W. Bush when he proclaimed his mission in iraq accomplished on may 1st 2003. The iraq war has since become the biggest failure of american foreign policy since vietnam. All use of this phrase should be in reference to this noted failure.

1.
a.
"Man, I bombed that test"
"Mission Accomplished."
b.
(person spills coffee on self)
Other: mission accomplished

2. (conjugated as a verb)

"I'm taking two incompletes and my girlfriend found out I was cheating on her."
"well, you're just accomplishing missions all over the place."

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