Jerkin' the gerkin with a merkin

Of the male: Masturbating with a pubic wig on.

"Geeves, what on earth are you doing in Lord Boddington's room this late at night?"

"Sorry, ma'am, but I heard a commotion down the hall, so I scurried to investigate the matter. Twas but a false alarm, the young master was simply jerkin' the gerkin with a merkin"

From "Geeves, that the stupid thing off his genitals" by Forsworth Littlingshire

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