showerection

When a male becomes aroused while showering. It can be either devastatingly inconvenient or curiously enjoyable. It is usually caused by overly frisky scrubbing or simply unclean shower thoughts.

Man 1: "Sorry that took so long, man. I got an unexpected showerection."

Man 2: "Dude you were in there for an hour and a half."

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OD on life

To take in more than the recommended dosage of life, typically lethal.

i.e. to die of natural causes.

Old man Nelson's been living for so long, it's only a matter of time before he's going to OD on life.

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get stoned with two birds

To put off several different tasks at once, usually to smoke some weed. Can also refer to the state of lethargy that typically accompanies such activity.

Instead of paying the rent and going to class, I decided to get stoned with two birds and smoke a joint.

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straightjacket snuggie

A regular blanket.

After wrestling my straightjacket snuggie for 15 minutes, I was forced to either endure the chilling horrors of a cold remote hand or Tyler Perry's television programs.

better off bacon

Used to imply that someone's life is so inconsequential, that they would be worth more to the world if their flesh was cured and smoked into delicious people-bacon.

Man 1: While you were gone, that hot girl from the bar called to see if you wanted to go out on friday. I told her you'd have to check with your parole officer.
Man 2: Dude, you'd be better off bacon.

Buzzed Lightyear

Someone who becomes buzzed to an extent nearing infinity, possibly exceeding it. Usually accompanied by woody.

Once I got Buzzed Lightyear, it seemed like my woody was hard up for some attention.

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infastruction

The seemingly infinite amount of road construction resulting from recent plans to improve infrastructure.

You can't get anywhere these days because of the traffic from all this fucking infastruction.

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