chav

A lower order of the ape family, living in colonies of anywhere above 2. Can be seen at dusk moving towards a McDonalds or similar. Often spotted marking territory on playgrounds or confronting members of the public in search of the resources to create fire. Favourite pastimes include:
-Using a mobile to record anything more illegal than kicking a lamp post
-Searching for "beef"
-Claiming that a member of the public "called their mum"
-Claiming that a member of the public "looked at them"
-Applying a burberry pattern wherever possible
-Smoking anything intoxicating, up to and including anthorax
-Drinking anything intoxicating, up to and including petrol
-Inhaling anything intoxicating, up to and including napalm
-Impregnating the female of the species - the chavette, who are only suitable for fertilising up to the age of 16

Primate ----> Homo Chavien ----> Homo Sapien

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Knights of cydonia

Possibly the wierdest, yet most melodically pleasing song ever written. Anything that muse come up with is pure genius, yet this is a particularly outstanding masterpiece of screaming and apocalyptic moaning.

Person 1: you seen the video for Knights of cydonia yet?
Person 2: nope, but i hear it involves a kung-fu cowboy armed with a laser gun who takes over a small town many years in the future, only to be struck down by an evil sheriff who pins him to the ground in the desert, where he's rescued by a woman on a unicorn.
Person 1: yep...muse are getting weirder aren't they?

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Squmbumf

A word to shout when you are shocked, preferably in a positive way.

Man1: No school tomorrow
Man2: SQUMBUMF!

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beef

Noun
Violent conduct between two or more chavtastic fellows

Micky D delivered righteous smiting beef to his homeslice, in repayment for the smacking up of his bitch

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Nutella

God's favourite spreadable food, made by pixies in the magical land of yum.

I eat so much Nutella, I actually ejaculate it

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