texting turrets

the inability of a person to censor their text messages after a few glasses of wine. This condition leads to texting the president of the PTA/preacher/grandmother things like "that coke whore ass-pounder" or " crazy motherfucker is trying to see my beaver" and "pussy-ass-dildo-sucker". Generally occurs with the suburban cougar crowd. A person with texting turrets also provides great submissions for TFLN

Cougar 1 "last night i suffered a baaad case of texting turrets"
Cougar 2 "WTF?"
Cougar 1 " i sent a text to our waiter asking him to throw his hotdog down my hallway"
Cougar 2 "OMG - did he?"

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wife merit badge

when your stay at home wife earns special recognition for preforming menial tasks. such as vaccuming, cleaning house, unloading washer, dirty sanchezing, an angry dragon or just a plain old blow job

Man, I'm telling you what Pam earned a wife merit badge in salad tossing last night

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