masturbation

1. America's number one past-time.
2. Reasons why many kittens die.

1.
Dude 1: "Dude you wanna go party or something?"
Dude 2: "Nah... I'm gonna participate in the great American past-time."
Dude 1: "Ahh... masturbation."

2.
Dude 1: "Dude that kitten just died."
Dude 2: "Ahh shit, I shouldn't have masturbated last night."

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