Beer shit

If one has ever drank beer, a very unpleasant aftermath will likely be realised: the "beer shits." This is when we urgently need to relieve ourselves of watery, smelly feces after a night of beer drinking.

This phenomenon affects both heavy and light drinkers and usually hits us 1-2 hours after waking up from a night of drinking. It's widely believed that all beer can cause beer shits, but the severity of the experience depends on how much and what kind of beer we drank. To measure this, some people use the equation "bs=b-q," where "bs" is the severity of the beer shit, "b" is the amount of beer we consumed (up to 6 hours maximum), and "q" is the quality of the beer, measured in local currency units The higher the "bs," the worse the beer shit.

However, this equation is not to be taken too seriously because most people agree that beer shits are always worse if Budweiser is involved. The pain of waiting to unload a beer shit is considered one of the most excruciating experiences, even more so than some of the most brutal medieval torture methods (although this may only apply to the most severe cases). It's the kind of situation where even the most macho male students will run out of the classroom and into the bathroom, ignoring the fact that their actions will cause later humiliation.

Despite the many negative effects of beer on our bodies, the worst side effect is undoubtedly the beer shits.

Person A: Beer is abhorrent shit to drink in my opinion.
Person B: why the fuck would you drink your beer shit?

Gadoobers

A word that comes to mind and/or exclaimed aloud when one has just been unveiled to the sight of either breasts, testicles or less commonly, ass, and are unsure of the accepted terminologies when referring to either one or both. As these parts of the human anatomy respectively are dissimilar, it could be deduced that 'Gadoobers' is a term used to refer to rounded objects that are attached to oneself, exist in a pair, both being virtually interchangeable with one another, and have the potential to cause sexual arousal. The singular and plural for Gadoobers is self-same, thus, 'Gadoober' is in no way related to 'Gadoobers'. When said, it will likely be emphatic and accompanied with another word preceding to emphasise the awe in which the speaker has experienced upon seeing the Gadoobers. If there were to be a cinematic depiction of how this word be expelled with the contextual conditions met (eyes meet balls, breasts or buttocks), it would be comparable to a 'Eureka moment', and so light contrast would suddenly be increased, time slowed, and appearing as though one has just seen God.

I just saw Mia Khalifa topless. Never again will regular Gadoobers tickle my fancy.