Colmar

A little French town in the region of Alsace, Colmar is well-known for its lovely paved streets, its bright colourful houses, its incredible amount of German tourists in shorts and sandals (WITH socks !), and its population of old, filthy-rich people.

In Colmar, the elderly rule. Every bar closes after 11.00 p.m, and even the traditional music festival has now been banned banned after midnight, the mayor having complained about "vandals playing filthy pop music under my windows at such an ungodly hour".

You'll probably have a nice time visiting Colmar, but don't plan on staying there for too long. They are everywhere, lurking under the shadow of their rollators, waiting for you to enter a dark alleyway to steal your youth and sense of fun forever.

You are warned.

"You should visit me in Colmar, we can have a nice time while the sun is up."

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