Rural Dictionary

Working the clay

Working the clay: To engage in sexual foreplay, like in that scene with the Pottery Wheel that was in that movie Ghost. A shirtless Patrick Swayze came all up behind Demi Moore and started massaging a big phallic looking clump of clay, then sticking his fingers in her clay and then she got all hot and sexy and totally fucked up the vase she was working on and then they had really intensely passionate R-rated movie sex with fake multiple orgasms. Because of this movie scene enrollment in Pottery Making Classes went through the roof! :-D

Demi Moore is so old and decrepit now that Ashton Kutcher must have to spend at least an hour " working the clay " before even attempting to stick his dick in her sandbox and I'm sure as hell that he still would get a dry burn on his dick so bad that it would require multiple skin grafts!

Ashton: Hey Demi. Could you slap on a little more Geriatric K-Y please! I think there are sparks shooting off my dick!

Demi: Did you hear that cracking noise! I think you just broke my hip!!!

by tonyfamous June 23, 2011

spank the kitty

Lady masturbation.

For personal hygiene reasons, you should always wash your hands before you spank the kitty.

by tonyfamous October 4, 2010

12👍 5👎

molesting myself

The act of subjecting yourself to unwanted or improper sexual advances or activity, from yourself.

What masturbators do, even though everybody knows masturbation is a perverted sin that will eventually lead to blindness, really hairy hands and complete insanity. :-P

I spent all last night molesting myself. Damn, my dick is sore!

by tonyfamous October 7, 2010

23👍 14👎

pinch a biscuit

Pinching a biscuit is what happens when you go to the bathroom to take a huge dump, or " pinch a loaf ", but wind up being really costipated and only dropping a small turd.

I'm so fucking constipated that I can't even pinch a biscuit.

by tonyfamous October 4, 2010

10👍 4👎