palm sunday

when you can't get any sex on sunday, so you have to grease up your palm and have your own palm sunday!

" Guess I ain't gettin' pussy today. Looks like it's gonna be another palm sunday!" :(

400👍 87👎

Government peanutbutter

The rough peanutbutter that comes in 15 lb. metal cans supplied by the U.S.D.A.
There are no warnings on the can, which there should be for choking hazard.
1)It is supplied for needy families
2)It is supplied for needy institutions
3)You cannot spread this peanutbutter
4)You cannot lube a tractor with it

"Somebody, please help me...I cannot get my knife back out of this government peanutbutter!"

358👍 38👎

urban bullshit

when you are looking up a word and now there are bullshit commercials along with it! :(

" I happened to notice that there is urban bullshit comercials on here as well--BULLSHIT!!

314👍 16👎

Tub ass

Somebody who is pretty fat, but their ass outranks their belly.

Fat person: " Hey,can you slide your chair in a little bit so I can get by?"

man sitting in chair: "Walk around the other way, Tub ass!"

364👍 65👎