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iPad Kid

A dangerous disease which infects small children typically between the ages of two and ten. Symptoms include brain rot, lack of situational awareness, loud voice, and disgusting habits.

An iPad Kid is created after giving and iPad to an offspring immediately after exiting the womb. It is typically done to avoid raising the child or to distract from the divorce. Once the child reaches the age of four, the disease develops more symptoms which can manifest in a few ways. Inability to look away from iPad. Eats while watching YouTube at full volume alone or with company. Lack of motor skills. Restricted diet.

Signs of an iPad Kid:

-iPad/tablet with the child at all times. It will typically be encased in a comically large protective case, however will still somehow be cracked. It will have gunk (snot, boogers, feces, etc.) coating half the screen.
-Inability to consume anything other than dino nuggets, mac & cheese, or ice cream.
-upon removal of their iPad, they will immediately begin screaming & crying.
-Extreme stupidity; kindergarten dropout.

Upon witnessing any of these symptoms, please remain a safe distance away to avoid the pathogen.

Billy is an iPad Kid.

by trutherfr June 3, 2024