Dafty Crafty

Pretending to be stupid and incompetent so that no one ever asks you to do a particular task

I dont know if Dave is actually stupid, or just being dafty crafty -he told me he didnt know how to open a tin of beans and I ended up cooking the breakfast!

Bog hog

Short for boghogger: Someone who spends fucking ages in the toilet -especially when you're desperate to take a shit

That Sandra's a right fucking bog hog -she kept me waiting so long I nearly shat my pants!