Politician

A lying, unprincipled, selfless person whose dirth of self-respect compels him to desperately sell himself to any buyer. He derives all his self-respect second-hand from others, but he can never fill the bottomless pit where his ego belongs. He lacks serious convictions and has no heroes; he lacks the confidence and courage to hold and form his own opinions. He is not a man, but a mouthpiece of the fools whose approval he cherishes.

Example 1:
Bill Clinton: "I want a national healthcare system!"
*Applause*

After mid terms, in State of the Union address-
Bill Clinton: "The era of big government is over!"

Observer: "Damn, that Clinton fool is such a politician. Does he believe in anything, or does he just say what people want to hear?"

Example 2:
George Bush: "I will never support anything resembling a national healthcare system."

Two years later, signing Prescription Drug Act
George Bush: "Now, a single payer, the government, will buy your medications!"

Observer: "Damn, just two years ago he said he didn't want government involved in healthcare. Did he really believe that, or was he just being a politician and saying that because that's what people wanted to hear at the time?"

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British humor

Used to describe something that is not funny, but to indicate that you should pretend that it is so "intellectual" pricks will not deride you as an uncultured, ignorant dolt.

Man is struck in the face with a bat.
Arrogant prick: "OH, HAHAHA, everybody look how funny I think that is!"

Friend: "How can you laugh at that? That's horrible. You don't even sound like you really like it anyway."

Arrogant prick: "It's British humor you ignorant, uncultured dolt! It requires a higher intelligence than you possess to appreciate"

Sheeple: "Oh, it's British humor! I think it's funny too! HAHAHAHA! I'm so glad I'm not an ignorant, uncultured dolt like that guy. HAHAHAHA"
*Looks around to make sure everyone sees him laughing.*

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