Paul Ryan

A Republican, 7-term Congressman from Wisconsin, currently serving his 8th term. Paul Ryan is a complete budget wonk, and spends his time engaged in the (mostly futile) task of telling the government how ridiculous its fiscal policy is and begging it to come up with a tax plan that isn't 2000 pages long. Oddly enough, he seems to enjoy this role.

Many women (commonly referred to as Ryanistas) consider him to be the sexiest man alive and spend most of their days fantasizing about his body and sending hate mail to his wife. When Governor Mitt Romney announced that Mr. Ryan was his running-mate during the 2012 presidential election, Ryanistas all over the country had a collective orgasm and were incapacitated for weeks.

Mr. Ryan has faced criticism because he once referred to rape as "a method of conception." Apparently, the people who were outraged by this statement could not accept that his words were truth and refused to cut him some slack for his inelegant statement, forgetting that he spends most of his time crunching numbers rather than counseling rape victims.

Overall, a smart (although nerdy), somewhat charismatic guy with a ripped bod that most of his haters are either jealous of or secretly lust after.

Paul Ryan? He can get fiscal with me any time he wants.

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