Dirty Nick

Nearly identical to the Dirty Sanchez except that after you give the chick her shameful moustache, you give her a coupon so that the next one is 50% off.

Dirty tramp #1: "Damn, that guy is sooo considerate that instead of just the usual Dirty Sanchez, he gave me a Dirty Nick."

Dirty tramp #2: "Your dad rules."

129👍 58👎

Dirty Matthew

Similar to the houdini, however, just as you are about to bust your load, you pull out and hawk one on your girl's back. When she turns around to smile at you, you whip out your 1,000,000 candle power spotlight and yell "Roll Tide," which blinds and then confuses her. She hops up and stumbles around, running into things like a drunk Auburn chick. The kicker is, you're stuck with her Lexus payments the next morning.

Redneck #1: How'dya make out last season?
Cracker #1: I dun shot me a 10 point buck, how'dyu do?
Redneck #2: I dragged one out of the woods and put the old dirty matthew on her, now she's got me steppin and fetchin, I tell ya, I am WORE OUT!
Cracker #1: TCB, man, of all the muthafuckas, you are the muthafuckest!

85👍 155👎