Random
Source Code
Random
That bitch in the SUV who almost ran you over this morning because you had the nerve to try to cross her street at a crosswalk, when the little "walk" man was green, despite the fact that she had over one hundred feet to slow her fat ass down before crowding you out of the lane, which she wanted to use to make a right turn without signaling. Don't worry, she didn't see you: she was on her cell phone talking to some other soccer mom slut, and is therefore incapable of perceiving, acknowledging or responding to any outside influence or displaying any semblance of situational awareness that might prevent her from running you over. In fact, even though the law guarantees you the right of way as a pedestrian, you should always yield to the soccer mom or in general the dodge driver or SUV driver, so her fat kid can in fact get to soccer practice five seconds sooner: he needs the exercise.
To identify a soccer mom listen for the phrase -- "Fucking bitch, watch where you're going and get off the phone!"
We should all be nicer to soccer moms...they have it rough. Its hard to drink Starbucks, talk on your cell phone too loudly in public, run pedestrians over in your SUV and single-handedly change the movie, TV and video game rating system all at the same time.
The soccer mom should not be confused with the conventional stay-at-home-mom, who actually stays home, supports her family and raises children who don't grow up to be money-grubbing scoundrel frat boy/girls who are incapable of contributing to society, but rather raises well-mannered respectable young adults that don't make you want to puke every time you see them.
177👍 35👎
N. The feeling of disbelief, regret and disorientation experienced upon waking up the morning after a night of clumsy, awkward drunken gay sex. Often accompanied by a sore asshole and the sour taste of alcohol mixed with seminal fluid, which can also be found in a dried state somewhere on the body, most often the chest, abs or face. Other evidence one has a hangayver includes the presence of another guy's boxers and/or jeans, anal lube, more than one used, dirty condom, a towel for "clean up" or the presence of another boy in your bed or showering frantically in your bathroom.
1 -- Boy #1: "Sup bro how was the party last night?"
Boy #2: (long pause) "Dude I don't know. I keep remembering wrestling around with some bro." (another long confused pause). "Were you over here last night man because some dude left his pants out on the couch."
Boy #1: (eyes a pair of boxers and used condoms on his friend's bed) "No... bro what's with the condoms? Did you hook up with a guy??"
Boy #2: "Whatever man. I gotta shit I feel like there's a tree up my ass."
Boy #1: "Ok dude, whatever. Enjoy your hangayver."
16👍 4👎
A deposit of cum that seeps out of a condom that has mistakenly slipped off your dick during sex and is subsequently left inside your chick's vagina after you nut and pull out. The fuse is lit as soon as you realize that when you pulled your prick out, the dirty rubber was no longer attached (usually because the chick squeezed it off in ecstasy or you went soft). Exhibits an unfortunately long fuse, lasting anywhere from less than a week to a full 28 days or, if the bomb is armed, 9 months, at which time the bomb drops and your life as a partying slutting beer guzzling college faking frat boy/girl comes to an abrupt end. Next time keep your prick hard and grab the rubber before you cum. Or just do it in the ass.
Dude #1: "Bro I saw you walking home with (e.g. Monica) last night man, she was soooo drunk. You hit that shit nasty?"
Dude #2: "Man, yeah, but no fucking joke. I dropped a time bomb in her."
Dude #1: (solemnly) "Shit. Shit man. Shit."
Dude #2: "Yeah, shit. I knew I should have put it in her ass."
17👍 27👎
Portion of a female (or God forbid a male...) tramp stamp that rises in a curly fashion out of the top of her rolled-down gym shorts, as if growing out of the dirt in her ass crack. Most commonly observed in the gym where sluts roll down their shorts to attract attention, or at the beach. The butt weed has the property of turning an otherwise sexy girl summarily into a piece of trash.
Dude #1: "Bro check that one out. I'd hit that shit"
Dude #2: (turns to look and girl turns around) "Dude, fuck that she's got butt weed."
Dude #1: "Yeah didn't see that. I'm over it."
45👍 26👎
(1) (n) -- The act of a male ejaculating with sufficient force and volume as to result in a splash of seminal fluid upon contact with a solid surface.
(2) The definition (1) where the receiving surface is the face of the male's sexual partner, which may be male or female. This is an extreme form of the common facial. It is particularly prominent among young, sexually inexperienced gay or bisexual males who suffer strong and often premature ejaculations and who find it humorous or pleasurable to direct their seminal fluid towards the cheeks or teeth of the other male partner. It can also be achieved by drinking prodigious amounts of water prior to sexual activity and frustrating the ejaculation several times prior to the actual release. Though often perceived as derogatory, particularly when the receiving partner is a female who is not a member of a sorority, the splasher is in fact complimentary due to the required intensity of the sexual release. It is often requested by the receiving partner, who if young and male is commonly a member of a fraternity, a jock, a boi or a twink, and if young and female is either unattractive and seeking acceptance and another sexual encounter at a later date, or is hot and adept at giving oral pleasure. Requesting a splasher, whether for one's own pleasure or for the pleasure of the male receiving the oral sex, does not imply sluttiness or promiscuity. Requesting multiple splashers from frat boys lined up in front of you, however, does.
Since it is complimentary in nature, the splasher should always be rewarded with continued post-ejaculatory oral sex and swallowing of any seminal fluid deposited in the mouth or near enough to the mouth to be collected by licking the lips and wiping the chin.
1) One time I saw this frat kid give a chick a splasher in front of like three of his bros. Dude I thought at least two of them were gonna try to lick it off for her!
2) Frat kid 1: "C'mon bro gimme that nut. I want that splasher again!"
Frat kid 2: "Yeah bro stroke that shit. Here it cums bro close your eyes this time!"
3) Girl: "The first time I sucked a guy off at a frat party he gave me a splasher and left cum all over my face. I thought I got it all off but when I got home I found some more on my cheek!"
31👍 18👎
A sub-group of the human female species defined by the ability to assume hottie status by donning a sweatshirt, usually emblazoned with the acronym for the local university. They are particularly common in Central Florida on the UCF campus, during the frigid winter months between November to January when temperatures plummet south of 85 degrees. The sweatshirt hottie ensemble typically comprises the requisite sweatshirt (hoodies are cuter), tight jeans that morph cellulite into a sexiness, a thick black belt and flip flops: after all, it is Florida. Sneakers are passable. Proper sweatshirt fit is crucial: it should obscure rolls and muffin tops, while suggesting the presence of large breasts. A more disheveled hairstyle adds to the effect: the sweatshirt hottie appears relaxed, vibrant, sexy and, due to the attire, vaguely or wholly athletic.
Note to be confused with a sweater hottie.
"This campus is great. Half-naked, tan, athletic girls all spring and summer, and sweatshirt hotties during the two seconds of winter."
19👍 3👎
Anal intercourse between two guys (usually frat boys) or a man and a woman (usually a frat boy and a drunk sorority girl) wherein the receiving party finds it necessary to hurriedly scuffle to the nearest bathroom to release a prodigious shit immediately following, or sometimes before, the butt-fucker ejaculates. The pump and dump results from a lack of preparadness: although the lower colon may seem vacant when probed with the finger, the impending turd is close enough to be stimulated by the thrusting action of the penis, which may or may not come into contact with said turd. In the event of a pump and dump, the pumper automatically becomes a literal turd burgler, having stimulated the release of a turd that otherwise would have emerged at a more opportune time.
A more extreme version of the pump and dump, known as the anal sexplosion involves a high velocity expulsion of the mixture of lubricant, semen and liquid feces that accumulates in the colon during anal sex when the receiving partner isn't completely empty.
"Bro, last night I finally talked my girlfriend into trying some butt sex, but damn if it wasn't a pump and dump, before I could even get off. Then she didn't wanna fuck the rest of the night cause she was so embarrassed."
"Dude! You never told me you were a turd burgler!"
"I met this frat boy online one night and he wanted me to come over and fuck him, but it was a total pump and dump. I asked him "bro u know how to be cleaned out right?" But I only pumped his butt for like two minutes before he said "Stop bro that's it i gotta crap!" Bitch looked so funny running to the bathroom I had to laugh, so then he wouldn't let me fuck him anymore."
35👍 83👎