Dead Right

When you know your wife is wrong and you're right and you argue your point and win. But did you really win?

Friend: "Hey, you look tired today. What's up?"
Me: "Wife was wrong about something and we argued about it. I won."
Friend: "Why's that got you lookin' so rough?"
Me: "I was Dead Right and slept on the couch."

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shined my ass

To beat someone ass. Typically a parent "teaching" their child manners.

"I smarted off and my dad shined my ass."

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mattenklopper

(n) A carpet beater made of rattan or cane and was used in Germany, Netherlands and the surrounding areas. It was primarily used to beat the dirt out of carpets, children and spouses.

"I told my mom to go to hell and she shined my ass with the mattenklopper."