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dynamite
used in msn. no particular reson but looks funny

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Mental Limp

Some people have a bit of trouble with very simple tasks, they don't listen well and are probably not gonna go far in life. While people with physical limps have a bit of trouble getting by in the world, they are lucky that society is there to help; those with the mental limp are fucked for life.

I had to walk the guy through how to use the word processor, every instruction was repeated 2 or 3 times to him, I swear he had a mental limp.

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double waste race

running to the bathroom and trying to find trash bin at the same time. usually because your so hung over that you aren't sure if you're going to throw up or diarrhea in your pants. This is also one of the scariest moments in your life if you ever get it.

- " OMG, i gotta go!!!"
- " woah whats wrong?"
- " double waste race!"
- " oh god no, I'll try to find a trash can or something, meet you in teh bathroom!"
- " HURRY!"

The Peacock

The sexual favor where the handle of a large feather duster is shoved up the ass resembling a peacock

When my wife role plays as a naughty maid, i give her the peacock."

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Fabric softener kid

This term is used when wanting to talk about a kid who is being a little retard in public, while not offending them or the mother. The play on words is derived from the following:

Fabric Softner --> Downy --> down syndrome --> retard.

since it is no longer socially acceptable to call a kid a retard, or claim they have down syndrome; this term works well because it is perfectly private, and no one knows what the fuck your saying.

-" Did you see that kid knocking over all those glasses in the Vogue Optical?"
-"yeah, either he's got bad parents or hes a fabric softener kid."

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Orchery

The place you go to practice shooting apples off of people heads. a combination of the words orchard + archery.
practicing at an orchery is highly recommended before actually trying to shoot an apple of a live persons head

The orchery offers many different size apples, for novices and those with experience. for all your apple marksman needs.

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I'm just sayin'

The irrefutable way to diffuse any situation. Saying "I'm just sayin'" is to be used immediately after a burn, or after a distasteful opinion is given. There is no response to "I'm just sayin'," that cant be followed up with another "I'm just sayin'"

with the proper use of this tool, it is possible to deliver a rude comment or burn and have it bounce off simply as an opinion disguised as an objective opinion, and who can argue with you over an opinion that you dont apparently support.

-" Hey man, Stacey didn't call me last night, I think she was with another guy."
- " Well remember the way she was in high school? she was a huge slut."
-"DUDE!!! Thats my fiancé!"
- " I know, I'm just sayin'"
- " Well ok, but she's not a slut anymore."
-" I'm just sayin.'"

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