If you are a stalker, and the person you are stalking has a twitter...consider yourself lucky.
50👍 29👎
A friend who just happens to be a midget.
Say hello to my little friend.
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something that your mom forgot to use before you were born.
*while giving birth*
Your mom: Damn, I should have used birth control....
Your dad: Damn straight!
540👍 180👎
having your flat mate walk in on you while you are making out with yourself in the mirror, moaning, and saying in a deep, sexy, voice: "oh, baby".
1403👍 477👎