Durkin

Someone so comically short, that any time a size based comment is made, an alternative version is also noted from Durkin’s point of view

Man my internet is running slow, I bet someone is streaming midget porn.

Or as Durkin would call it; ‘Normal sized porn’.

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Dirty Grump

A shit that takes a painfully long time to be had, possibly due to complications from previous bowel issues

Man, it took me over a hour on the can last night, after the first 20mins I knew I was having a Dirty Grump!