Jizz in my pants

The video opens with Samberg singing in a night club. As he is invited to Molly Sims' apartment, he prematurely ejaculates, or "jizzes in his pants", in the hallway. Taccone then ejaculates prematurely while conversing with a check-out girl, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, in a grocery store. Justin Timberlake appears as a janitor. Samberg then exits a cinématheque, when the discovery of a missed telephone call from a girl causes him to prematurely ejaculate. In another scene, Taccone is seen driving his car, listening to the radio, when a song begins to play that reminds him of a girl, and causes him to "jizz in his pants" yet again. Samberg and Taccone then sing about how they easily "jizz in their pants" from stimuli such as an alarm clock, opening a window, the truth about Bruce Willis's character (Dr. Malcolm Crowe) dying at the end of The Sixth Sense, and ingesting a grape. Next, Samberg and Taccone explain that whenever they are adjacent to women, they ejaculate prematurely, which, they say, necessitates constant wearing of condoms. Akiva Schaffer can be seen in the background at various times as the disc jockey.3

I jizz in my pants

450👍 108👎

runescape

that game you play when nobody is on xbox live and you're waiting for them to get home. Usually this game is fun for a few weeks, then you get bored of it for a while. After some time though, you come back to play it. You always come back. Then you'll play for an hour and realize it is not fun and go play xbox again.

Though you may think you are finished with runescape, you will come back. No matter how hard you try, you will come back.

"Hmm. Nobody is on Halo, guess ill play runescape until somebody gets home."

452👍 143👎

Modern Warfare 2

The follow-up to the 2007 epic game Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.

Again, this game will cause you to scream your mind out at noobs who go 1 and 22 in team deathmatch, or your friends who appear to believe they can beat you.

Either way, hilarity will ensue, but with better graphics and better weapons.

Modern Warfare 2 will completely decimate the other Call of Duty games.

1073👍 455👎

the speech function

without this useful little tool, Stephen Hawking would not have a voice.

also, you wouldn't be able to mix hilarious but mildly racist terms together in a high pitched robot voice.

"Siyock!!"
"What the hell?"
"Oh sorry, that was the speech function on my Mac"

95👍 7👎

Left 4 Dead

A game in which you and 3 friends can scream angrily at eachother while having mosh pits of zombies bite your faces. The AI Director can magically spawn thousands of zombies on you by using his magical control panel. He generally keeps it set on butt rape without lube.

Player1: I owned that witch!
Director: Let's drop 4 tanks on him...

Left 4 Dead

1250👍 128👎

The Long Walk

An epic novel by Stephen King while he was writing under the pen name of Richard Bachman. The story follows 100 "walkers" as they participate in The Long Walk. The Walk is an event held each year in which 100 boys under the age of 18 walk for "the Prize"- whatever they want for the rest of their lives. There is one problem though, if your walking speed falls below 4 miles per hour for over a minute and a half, you are shot and killed until only one walker remains.

100 boys participate in The Long Walk, only one survives.

163👍 18👎

Ron Paul

He's not going to win an election.
So in 2012, don't vote for him.
Becuase if you do, you'll be supporting Palin, and nobody wants that.

"Ron Paul-2012!"
"He can't win, don't jizz yourself"

1322👍 606👎