Mortar and Pestle

When your old lady jabs the wound with a phallic object furiously, with such emotional intensity not achieved by another activity.

What did you do last night?

Oh my plans got cancelled so I just whipped out the old mortar and pestle and went to town.

8👍 2👎

drilk

When you are pouring milk into a bowl of cereal and its the end of a bag so just a couple oz. goes into the bowl, in the time that it takes for you to toss out the old bag, grab a new one, mount it in the holster and snip the tip to replenish the bowl, the milk from bag A has already festered enough and in such a small quantity that it has become warm and gross.

"Man, I found the scissors in the basement, now i'm all drilked out son. Toss this bowl right into the toilet."

"I don't even like Special K anyway."

9👍 5👎