Comic Logic

The suspension of disbelief that allows comic-book & sci-fi fans to gloss over certain facts that would otherwise cause them to argue for weeks, months, years online.

Examples:
1) Popular movies that have loud explosions taking place in the airless vacuum of space.

2) Green Lantern flying somewhere when he could just have his ring instantly teleport him to where he wants to go.

3) Batman not just shooting The Joker in the head & being done with it.

Fanboy: I thought it was cool when Spider-Man had organic web-shooters.

Shop Owner: Maybe. But shouldn't he have been shooting the webs out his ass then?

Fanboy: Comic logic, dude! Nobody wants to see that!!

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We Believe You, Captain America

A deadpan, snarky response to an unbelievable series of events that is related to you by a friend or co-worker. Taken from the classic Lee/Kirby issue of THE AVENGERS where Captain America is found in the Arctic, having been frozen in a block of ice since the end of World War II.

After he is thawed out, Cap relates the following tale: "By some fantastic stroke of fate, I must have been frozen in an ice flow, and then found by some eskimos who thought I was a supernatural object. Then, all those years, being in a state of frozen suspended animation must've prevented me from aging."

The rational response to all that malarky? "We believe you, Captain America."

Frantic Guy: I'm sorry I'm late! I was riding my bike here & nearly got hit by a plane making an emergency landing! I freaked out & slammed into a fire hydrant, flying over the handlebars and right into the arms a visiting Sumo Wrestler!

You: We believe you, Captain America.

Superman's Pal

A term that describes yourself as the victim of a "friend" who thinks nothing of playing horrific practical jokes on you, telling lies that border on insanity & oft-times, treating the opposite sex like absolute garbage.

This comes from any number of Superman comics of the 60's, where The Man of Steel was a complete dick - teaching his friends "lessons", usually at great & mentally-scarring expense and treating Lois Lane like a bug under glass for the express purpose of emotional torture.

Jimmy: Did you see what Clark did to me? He had a fake lottery ticket printed up & I thought I had won five million dollars! But it was just another of his sick jokes! I really could've used that money, too, with my mom dying and all...

Perry: Superman's Pal. (chuckle)

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