douchebaggery

The greatest word of all time, simple yet pleasing in its onomatopoeic beauty. For one to commit douchebaggery, he/she is not limited to but may include some or perhaps all of the following behaviors:

- the wearing of flat-billed baseball caps backwards
- using an enormous amount of gel to spike the hair porcupine style
- wearing polo shirts or any other type of shirt with the collar popped, a disgusting gesture that should've died in the 1980s with parachute pants
- the sideways peace sign gesture
- overdone pursing of the lips
- too many visits to the tanning salon
- pointing at oneself, holding up beer cans, or making other obscenely immature gestures in solo or group photos
- following trends for the sake of fitting in (see "goatee")
- adding "The" or the suffix "-ster" to one's name, as in "The Rickster"

See Guido or perhaps frat boy for more. Essentially, "douchebaggery" is one of those things as easily understood by definition as it is by one's demonstrations of it.

At least guys with mullets can cut their hair, but there seems to be no cure for the douchebaggery exhibited by frat boys overcompensating for their small members.

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smorgasbroad

A vast array of beautiful women, or hotties, found in a relatively small area. They might vary in height, hair color, or ethnicity, but such variety is irrelevant and rather welcome. Unfortunately, they are too often the targets of douchebags and thus victims of the douchebaggery of frat daddies.

For a smorgasbroad to exist, estimates of the number of hotties should be at least 35-40% of any group of people, and preferably higher.

(And thanks to an old friend of mine from whom I first heard this term back in 1988.)

First guy: "Dude, check out all the babes here!"

Second guy: "Yes, this is a veritable smorgasbroad."

First guy: "Uh oh, that douchebag guido is going in for the kill! That chick is going to laugh at his porcupine hair and orange skin!"

Second guy: "Let's watch her trample his little ego! This should be a lot of fun."

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Twitney Spheres

This may resemble Britney Spears because it's based on her. It refers to any talentless hack who doesn't deserve success and adulation, even while doing whatever shameless thing it takes to command unwarranted attention and/or stay in the public eye.

"Oh, Kanye, stop pouting about not winning all those awards. You're acting like a Twitney Spheres."

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